We all have hard times. And we've all experienced them. But some people do it better than others. What is their secret? Prof. Carol Morgan believes that it is all about our attitude to what is happening.
What should we remember in difficult moments for us?
1. What is - such
The Buddha's famous saying goes, "Your suffering is caused by your resistance to what is." Think about that phrase for a minute. Our sorrows are piling up when we refuse to accept what is happening. If you can change something, take action. If changes are impossible, however, you have two options: to accept the situation and let go of your negative emotions, or to suffer long, deeply and passionately.
2. A problem only becomes a problem when you call it that.
We often become our own worst enemies. Happiness really depends on perspective. If you see something as a problem, your emotions and thoughts will be saturated with negativity. Think about what lessons you can learn from the situation and it will suddenly stop being a problem.
3. If you want to change things, start with yourself.
Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. Surely you know people whose lives are full of chaos and stress. Doesn't this happen because they themselves are extremely wasted and act inadequately? We like to think that changing circumstances change us. Actually, it works, but in reverse. First we have to change ourselves to change the circumstances.
4. There is no concept of "failure" - only an opportunity to learn something new.
You need to remove the word "failure" from your vocabulary. All great men, before reaching success, have suffered repeated failure after failure. T. Edison said: “I did not fail to invent the light bulb. I just found 99 ways for it not to work." Learn from the so-called failed you. Plan how to do it better next time.
5. If you don't get what you want, it means something better is on the way.
I know you find this hard to believe. But it is true. When you review your life, you will see that the good things happened after things didn't go your way. It's possible that the job you were turned down would have separated you from your family, unlike the one you got but didn't like at first reading. Just believe that everything is happening exactly as it is supposed to happen. And in no other way.
6. Appreciate the present moment.
It will never occur again. There is something precious in every moment of life, don't let it slip past you. Soon it will be just a memory. You may ever regret the moments which do not seem happy to you now.
7. Let go of desires.
Most people live with a "bound mind". This means that they attach great importance to their wishes, and if what they have in mind is not fulfilled, their emotions are only negative. Instead, try a "liberated mind": if you want something, you can be happy regardless of whether your wish comes true or not. Your emotions will be neutral or positive.
8. Understand your fears and you will be thankful for them.
Fear can be an excellent teacher. Overcoming fear often brings you closer to victory. When I was in college, I was terribly afraid of public speaking. Now it's funny to me that today I speak in front of many people every day, since I am a teacher of public speaking. It only takes practice to overcome fear. Fear is just an illusion.
9. Allow yourself to experience joy.
I know a lot of people who don't allow themselves to have fun. They don't even know how to be happy. Some are so addicted to their problems and inner chaos that they have no idea who they are without it all. Allow yourself to be happy. Focus on the joys, not the hardships.
10. Don't compare yourself to others.
If you do compare yourself, let it be with those who have it worse than you. Are you unemployed? Be grateful that you are receiving benefits. Most of the world's people live in extreme poverty. You don't look like Angelina Jolie? I think there are few like her. You are probably much more attractive than most. Focus on that.
11. You are not a victim.
You are only a victim of your own thoughts, words and actions. No one is doing anything on purpose for you or against you. You create your own experience. Take personal responsibility and realize that you can survive hardships. You just need to start changing your thoughts and actions. Let go of the victim mentality and become a winner.
12. Everything can and will change.
"And this shall pass," the phrase on the inside of Solomon's ring, is one of my favorites. When you are in a difficult situation, it seems to you that there is no way out, that nothing can change. But you know what? There will be changes! Nothing is eternal but death. Refuse to think that everything will stay this way forever. But you will have to take some action to change the situation.
13. Anything is possible.
Miracles happen every day. This is true. This article is not enough for me to tell everything that I have seen happen to my acquaintances - from curing terminal cancer to suddenly meeting the soul mate. This happens all the time. You just have to convince yourself that it is.
Learn more about Milena Goleva's collection of meditations here
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