12 notes to my future self
I decided to write this letter to my future self, not because in this way I want to outwit multiple sclerosis or warn of senile dementia. Such a letter is unlikely to help with this. But, it is possible, to protect against certain mistakes...
You know, in my childhood and adolescence, listening to the endless moral teachings of adults, watching how my parents quarreled, how the old people behaved stupidly, I thought to myself: "When I grow up, I will never do this to my children! I won't look so ridiculous! I will not repeat these mistakes for the world!”
And then, years later, I was horrified to find myself doing exactly that: yelling at the child, speaking platitudes, piling up insults, persistently demanding attention and gratitude... If only I could remember in time how this once pissed me off!...
That is why I have prepared these notes for myself, based on my current experience and observations. I hope that in 2-3 decades, if I am alive and if by this time our insane world has not destroyed itself, they will come before my eyes and help me avoid stupid actions and ridiculous situations. And maybe something will be useful for you too.
So, my dear, when you grow old…
- Never teach anyone. Even if you're sure you're right. Remember how it annoyed you in your time. And did you follow the advice of the elders...
- Don't help if they don't ask you to. Never bother. Don't try to protect your loved ones from the dangers of the world. Just love them.
- Do not complain! From your health, from your neighbors, from the government, from the pension fund! Don't become the gloomy old lady on the bench by the entrance.
- Don't expect thanks from the children. Remember: there are no ungrateful children - there are stupid parents waiting for gratitude from their children.
- Don't use phrases like: "I was your age...", "I gave you my best years...", "I'm older, so I know better...". This is unbearable!
- If you have grandchildren, don't insist that they call you by your first name instead of "grandma." It is silly.
- Don't spend your last money on rejuvenating procedures. This is pointless. Better spend them on excursions.
- Don't look in a mirror and don't put on makeup in a dimly lit room. Don't flatter yourself. Try to look elegant. Precisely elegant, not youthful. Trust me it's better.
- Protect your husband, even if he is a shriveled, helpless, grumpy old man. Don't forget that he was once young, strong and cheerful. And he is probably one of the few who you remember young, thin and beautiful. And it's possible that he's the only one who needs you right now...
- Do not try at all costs to outrun time: to cope with new technologies, obsessively follow the news, constantly learn something new in order to "not fall behind" in life. It's funny. Do what you like. As much as you can.
- Don't blame yourself for anything. However your life or your children's life has turned out, you have done all you could.
- Maintain dignity in all situations! To the end! Try it dear, this is very important!!! And remember that if you are alive until this moment, then someone needs you.
Author: Diana Balinskaya
Translation: Tanya Temelkova / spiralata.net
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From all this, one main thing became clear - old people are very annoying to the author - it is unpleasant for her to listen to them, look at them, LISTEN to them, let alone listen to advice, but she does not know some fundamental truths: 1. You are human he remains the same inside, but his body is different - this is the terrible thing, because they perceive you as an annoying old man, and you also need to communicate and protect; 2. this old man/grandma has real wisdom because of the lessons of life, even if he is not tech savvy and nothing will happen to her cocoon if she sometimes stops for 5 minutes to listen to an old woman, even if she doesn't like it – old people want nothing from their children except a little attention. And what she will hear from the old woman may not interest her at the moment, but it will serve her sometime in life when she least expects it. These dumb advices cause one to advise her not to be so cocky because life is unforgiving and respect for elders is extremely important, but some people realize it when it's too late!
Now I looked at the above comment and I can't figure out how it relates to the article? ! All the same, I will use this opportunity to share that I really liked the article, at that very moment I was simultaneously experiencing the ingratitude of my children to me and mine to my parents...funny, but...or sad, right...which is all this, because the wisdom from the article seems to me like from "real life" - well, real, somehow and I liked it a lot 🙂
There are many mistakes in this. To accept it as a pure coin is to destroy your kind! A lot can be written, but it makes no sense, because some listen to others "no". But 100% from what was written for me and wrong!!!