The Christmas letter you should reread every year. Nobody owes you anything

Harry Brown's famous letter to his 9-year-old daughter

52 years ago, in the distant year 1966, Harry Brown - financial analyst and motivational speaker wrote a letter for Christmas to his 9-year-old daughter, which is more than relevant even today.

It's Christmas and as always I have the usual problem - what gift to choose for you. I know what would make you happy - books, games, dresses.

But I am very selfish. I want to give you something that will stay with you longer of several months or years. I want to give you a gift that will remind you of me every Christmas. And, if I could give you one single thing, it would be a simple truth that I had to learn for many years. If you understand it now you will enrich your life in hundreds of different ways. This truth will save you from many problems that hurt people who do not know it.

So: nobody owes you anything.

The significance of this truth?

How can such a simple statement be important? It doesn't seem like it at first glance, but a deeper understanding will bless your entire life!

Nobody owes you anything

That means no one lives for you, my child. Because no one is you. Every man lives for himself. The only thing a person can feel is their own happiness. If you understand that no one is obliged to give you happiness or anything else - you will free yourself from expecting the impossible.

This means that no one is obligated to love you. If someone loves you - so there is something special about you, which makes him happy. Find out what that special something is, try to make it stronger, and then they will love you even more.

When people do something for you, it's because they want to do it themselves. Because you are important to them – something makes them want to like you. But not because someone owes you something.

No one has to like you. If your friends want to be with you, it's not out of a sense of duty. Find out what makes them feel good enough to want to be around you

No one has to respect you. Some people won't even be nice to you. But the moment you understand that no one is obliged to do you good and that someone can be bad to you, you will learn to avoid those who would hurt you. Because you don't owe them either.

To live your life

Once again: Nobody owes you anything.

You owe it to yourself to be the best person you can be!

When you succeed, other people they will want to be with you, they will ask to provide you with things, which you want, in exchange for the things you give them.

Some people will choose not to be with you for reasons that have nothing to do with you at all. When this happens to you - simple look for the relationships you want and like. Don't make other people's problems your own.

When you understand that you have to earn the love and respect of others, you will not wait for the impossible and you will not be disappointed. No one is obligated to share their property, their feelings, or their thoughts with you.

If someone does - it will be because you deserved it.

And then you will be able to be proud of love, which you have earned and with the sincere respect of friends. But you should never take that for granted. If you do, you'll lose all those friends. They are not rightfully yours. You have to earn and deserve them every day.

A great burden was lifted from my back the day I realized that no one owed me anything. While I thought I had it all figured out, I was wasting myself—physically and emotionally—trying to get my way.
But really, no one owes me good behavior, respect, friendship, love, politeness or intelligence. The moment I realized all of this I started to get a lot more satisfaction from all my relationships.

I focused on being with people, who want to do things, those things that I need.

This awareness has worked well for me in my relationships with friends, associates, partners and loved ones, clients and even strangers. It constantly reminds me that I can get anything I want, only, if I can enter the world of my interlocutor. I need to understand how he thinks, what he considers important, what he ultimately wants. Only then can I approach it in ways that will bring me what I want. And only then can I determine if I really want to be in a relationship with someone. And I can save the important relationships for those with whom I have the most in common.

It is not easy to summarize in a few words what I myself have been able to learn over many years. But maybe if you reread this letter every Christmas, its meaning will become clearer to you with each passing year.

I sincerely hope so, because more than anything I want you to understand this simple truth that will set you free:

Nobody owes you anything.

Translation: Nikola Belopitov

See also: So, my dear, when you grow old…

Also read: The paradox of our time