What you become depends largely on what kind of people you surround yourself with. Life decides who appears next to you, but it's your choice who stays, who you let in...
In other words, you need to surround yourself with people who make you better and let go of those who drag you down. Here's how to find out who the people in the second group are:
1. They only have time for you when it's convenient for them.
Don't waste your time with someone who only wants to be with you when it's convenient for them. You don't have to force someone to make room for you in their life. If he really cares, he will do it himself.
Being in a relationship with someone who underestimates you is not faithfulness, it's stupidity. Never beg for someone's attention. Remember your worth and walk away if you have to.
2. They use your past against you.
Some people just can't accept that you're different now - that you've made mistakes, learned your lessons, and moved on, leaving the past behind you. These people cannot accept that you are growing up and moving forward and are using your past to pull you back. Don't put up with that kind of attitude. Just get over it and move on.
Holding on to a past you can't change is a waste of energy and does nothing to help you create a better present. If someone is constantly judging you about your past and waving it accusingly at you, walk away from that person. Your relationship with him is bad for you.
3. You feel trapped.
In healthy relationships, doors and windows are wide open. This is the freedom in which your relationship with a person flourishes. You know you can leave at any time, but you choose to stay because this is exactly where you want to be.
But if someone has closed all the doors and windows in an attempt to keep you at all costs, without you asking for it yourself, it's time to find the strength to kick down the door.
4. They belittle your dreams and abilities.
If you let other people define your dreams and judge your abilities, you give them the power to stop you. What you can achieve is not a function of what others think you can achieve. What you can achieve depends on what you choose to invest your time and energy into.
People around you will make all kinds of assumptions about what is possible and what is not. Look beyond the limitations of others and get in touch with your vision of what YOUR life can be. Life is an open-ended journey and what you achieve depends on what you expect to achieve and what you do to achieve it.
Therefore, do not worry about the opinion of others. Live your truth.
5. You've been lied to more than once.
Love is not just passion and romance between two people. It is a bond between friends, between family. If someone lies to you, they are not respecting their relationship with you.
If you allow a chronic liar to stay in your life and continue to give him the opportunity to change, then you have a lot in common with him - you are both deceiving and disrespecting... you!
Also remember this: those who don't tell you the truth, but what you want to hear, do it for their own good, not for you. Don't be fooled by the opposite!
6. Their negativity rubs off on you.
Negative people tend to do this to everyone, not just you. Their behavior is a projection of their own reality, of their inner dramas. Even if they tell you something negative that, at first glance, concerns you specifically, keep in mind that it actually has nothing to do with you!
It's important to remember this so you don't take what negative people say or do to heart. And while you can't control what they say or do, you can control whether they do or say it to you. Don't let their words and actions take root in your mind and heart. If you feel that their negative influence is beginning to affect you, be sure to take a moment of solitude and breathe deeply. Keep telling yourself that none of this has anything to do with you.
When you move away from negative people, you will see positive things start to happen to you. It doesn't mean you hate them, it just means you respect yourself.
7. They envy you for what you have.
Actually, when someone envies you, it doesn't show how much they admire you, but how much they dislike themselves. If you can, help this person to lift their spirits, but be careful that you don't end up feeling down. Because sometimes these people just can't be helped. The broken pieces in them must be mended by themselves. Happiness, after all, is the work done inside yourself.
8. They provoke you to judge and hate.
It is true what they say: that there are no perfect people and that no one is inferior to others.
If you judge others by the color of their skin, the shape of their body, the way they look, you will miss who they REALLY are. You'd be surprised how much you'll learn from people if you just accept that many of them just don't dress and live like you.
You should avoid anyone who provokes you to judge and hate others.
9. They want you to be a different person.
Spend time with people who see you for who you are, not who they think you are. And spend the most time with those who really know everything about you and still love and respect you.
If someone wants you to be anything other than yourself, back off. Better to end relationships like these than to have to play and pretend to be someone else. Believe me, it's easier to heal your heart and meet new people than to pick up the pieces of your broken identity afterwards. It's easier to fill the void in your life where someone else was than it is to fill the void in you where the real you once was.
source: marcandangel.com
translation: Gnezdoto
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